Tag Archives: gratitude

Dusk, in Suburbia

On a hill just beyond the view of the Gulf

a seaside town with freshly repaired sidewalks

and paved, perpendicular streets

welcomes a walk at dusk.

The tops of the palms and oak gather darkness

as the backdrop of sunfall illuminates the cirrus clouds

and horizon of slated rooftops.

There is no hurry to run, but rather an urge for a strong-gaited walk

for energetic muscle and new shoes.

A whiff of cigarette smoke permeates from an open garage,

a front door is slowly opened,

potted plants, white gravel, and vine-encased trees

rest on manicured and unruly lawns.

Sprinklers of reclaimed water spray on some dewy earth;

other patches are dry as decayed bone.

The quiet of Sunday plays peacefully

with absence from blaring sirens and piercing landscape machines.

I bury my face in the descending sun as I wander the footpath at dusk,

in suburbia.

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A Bird Call, A Meditation Song

A bird call
a meditation song
words spoken to the sea

spinning in the high winter’s sky
where the pelicans fly
and the hawk and dove and osprey

singing their tune
which I cannot translate
yet reminding me to breathe and let be

Uttered forth among ocean waves
these affirmations floating to you
and cascading back to me.

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The Inevitable Come-down from Christmas and that New Year’s Resolution List

OK so it happened again. There was a definite come-down two days after Christmas for me. Did it happen to you, too? This was a particularly zen holiday so that makes it worse. I didn’t Scrooge one second this year. But since I was a chubby cheeked toddler and all the Christmases in between the come-down creeps in. Like New Year’s morn when your head is pounding and the clock to punch back in at work is ticking furiously.

I know the holidays aren’t great for everyone. But can I wax mystical about mine this year? Just for a minute.

It was so peaceful. None of my perfectionism reared its ugly annoying little sharp-tongued monster head. My son said it was “The best Christmas ever!” He says that every year but for some reason I think he meant it most this time. We saw lots of family and friends and also had quiet time at home. Our usual traditions still intact (although our fave Indian restaurant was closed on Christmas Eve so we had Thai instead. And they gave me a gift of hugging hippo salt and pepper shakers!) Me and my son’s dad, or as I will now call him my co-parent, had a truly lovely time together. Like old friends again. No stress. No high expectations. And the weather was fabulous.

So I had my little come-down pity party after. I had a short cry in the shower. It would have lasted longer if “Cat’s In the Cradle” had shuffled on my iPod.

Now onto the list. There have been years where I was like, “I’m not gonna participate in making that ridiculous resolution list. They all list-fully fall away in a matter of months or even weeks anyhow.”

But in my concerted effort to continue the forward motion of zen, I shall make one this year for sure. So off the top of my clear head here it is.

  • Lower my expectations and put a pillow on top of the mouth of the perfectionism monster.
  • Give gratitude. Every day. And infiltrate this into my son’s brain as well.
  • Have more game nights.
  • Less technology. Or at least stop bringing my phone to the dinner table. And infiltrate this into my son’s brain as well.
  • Write more.
  • Balance work-life. Try to stave off exhaustion and have a dinner party once in awhile.
  • Get to the beach more. Even if just for 30 minutes to watch the sunset.
  • Let go of the things I can’t control, like my son being an almost teenager and not loving all the things I like to do.

So there it is. I’m sure I could add more but I’ll stop now. Eight is my favorite number anyway. The first and the last on the list are definitely the most difficult.

I’ll refer back to this list in times of turmoil. And look back to the zen of Christmas holiday 2016. What are your resolutions? I’d love to know.

And oh yes, I wish you a beautiful 2017. Happy New Year!

 

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Spinning Dresses and New Year Kisses

I rang in the New Year just the way I’d hoped. Surrounded by good friends, good people, and the absence of lemon drop shots.

It’s been a good time off from work. The whole holiday break has been fulfilling (except for the head lice situation nightmare which I may write about when I can just laugh about it).

I have spent quality time with people I have managed to neglect during my nine-hour workdays and various other mom, household, and health/hygiene duties.

I hope the neglected understand.

For this holiday I will remember–

The spicy, fresh smell of a health food store while walking side by side down the aisles with my mom on a mother-daughter date.

Reading incredibly sick yet nostalgic nursery rhymes to my nephew while his little hand rested on mine. “He put her in a pumpkin shell and there he kept her very well…

The relaxing and grateful feeling of my sister-in-law, and then my mother, and then my new dear friend combing through my hair to remove nits.

Witnessing my Little Boo exercise good table manners (placing his phone down without being asked and engaging in friendly dinner conversation); quiet chunks of time playing board games with him; a spontaneous Face Time call while he explored his aunt and uncle’s lakeside backyard in the cold Tennessee wind.

The quirky and adorable story my neighbor recited to me in her refined Liverpool accent as we sipped Australian wine.

My cousin’s hearty laugh and the resonation of it throughout the years and over state lines.

And yet there is much more. I am truly blessed.

I’d like to be, and be able to be less neglectful in the coming year.

I rang in the New Year with dear friends. And ended up dancing with  a stranger. A little girl with wavy locks the color of caramel and a dress that sparkled like fireworks as she spun and spun like a top that had no way of stopping.

And a strong little bear hug and kiss on the cheek from her before she scooted off into the balmy night.

Happy New Year, everyone.

Girl-Twirling

Photo courtesy of veganfashionblog.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Sunset by the Sea

That golden orb
lay down so eloquently
the bottom of it
pulled down by the sea
or perhaps the rotation
of the earth
that which we cannot see

And I shared a bench
with an old man
who did not speak
But I heard his heart
when his eyes were alight
no grief
We took in the moment
each of us our own thoughts
dreams hopes desires
beliefs

Sunset by the sea
I gave gratitude
for you and me
for spirit peace equality

A couple lay in each other’s arms
a family played joyfully
mother and son
daddy and baby
a circle of souls
waxing philosophically
three women late in their years
a wet-eared puppy

That golden orb
not a backdrop
but the focus of the moment
holding us all together
to bask in its enjoyment

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Reaching Out

When all is quiet
and there is no work to be done
My mind flies high
soaring against the sun
my heart is full
of all of you
all who have reached out
both old and new
For all the tiring
desperate trying times
Among them has been
no searching for earthly
companions
In that aspect I win
So many open souls
willing to give a hand
reaching out
keeping my mind
from falling back into
the chasm
I want to thank you
as I feel the sun
I want to thank you
for everything you’ve done
I might not have always seemed grateful
but I am here
reaching back out to you.
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