I took a 5 month hiatus from Facebook a while back. For various reasons, one being I just didn’t need or want my personal life spilled out there for everyone to see, I needed to get “off the grid” FB style.
Coerced by coworkers to get in the loop of our funny office photos I recently got back on.
Immediately two comments popped up. Glad you’re back! They read. Wow I hadn’t realized I’d been missed.
I have been slow to get back into the trappings of Facebook. And I don’t think I’ll ever have the love affair (or perhaps it was just obsession) I once had. And thank goodness. Because there were so many times after I spent 45 minutes trolling my news feed I would walk away with this heavy and negative feeling in my soul. These things did not add happiness to my life:
Photos of me two years ago. Young and fit. Damn I’ve aged.
Ridiculously happy families/couples.
People I never see anymore.
Family I lost touch with.
Babies I didn’t know people had.
Birthdays I missed.
Extravagant meals which make my shitty excuse for dinner depressing and demoralizing.
Movies/TV shows/news/celebrities I know nothing about because I live in my own self-imposed hibernation.
Political rants from friends I thought were more open and accepting.
And for those reasons I do not spend endless wasted minutes watching to see what everyone else is doing or saying while I should be on WordPress tapping into my creative soul! Or outside listening to the birds sing and watching the tree limbs sway. Or engaging with the person in front of me instead of my face stuck in my phone.
But I am not a total begrudged hater. Facebook does have its positives. Maybe I shouldn’t be blaming Facebook. I mean what did Facebook do but merely exist? Just trying to connect people and ideas and photos and lives? These are the reasons I still have an account:
I get to see photos of my nephews living their lives. Without this I would not have such a sweet visual insight into their daily/weekly lives.
All my awesome high school and college friends and the success of their creative endeavors.
The first neighbor I can ever remember and how she still has those curly locks and now a family and house of her own.
That friends and family alike are still out there, breathing, baring their souls or just sharing a recipe.
I can spend as little or as much time on Facebook as I wish. No one is force cramming it down my throat. It is my choice. So I choose to troll occasionally. And not deem it necessary to post every thought I have or every place I go. And to brag about my kid or not. And to try to take away the things that make me smile. And the things that leave a heavy space will just have to be let go and float away with all the other negativity that does not have a place here.