As it Exists in our Minds

They say you can’t go back. Or perhaps you shouldn’t. But sometimes it’s inevitable.

Steely Dan Radio on Pandora. That’ll do it for me. A tinge of past immediately starts flowing through the neurons and blood stream. Back to childhood days in my dad’s mustard El Camino or hunched over the Fischer-Price record player with my brother.  Back to teenage days, cycling through songs on random play from the new CD player. Back to college days, blasting out the sub woofers in my ’87 Nissan Sentra. And about a hundred other memories involving a Steely Dan song.

Whether you want it to or not, music will take you back.

There are those songs you can’t bear to hear. Either they bring back a dark memory or someone you’d rather not keep in your consciousness. Those we turn off as soon as we can, if possible. Or perhaps we need a good cry out and we let it rip.

Then there are those songs that fire up our frontal lobe like fourth of July sparklers and we are transported to a time and place no longer existing. Even if our childhood homes are still intact, or the city in which we grew up, it is never the same.

I guess that’s why they say you can never go back. Because no matter how bad we may want it to be there, it is gone.

And that is one of the many beauties of music– enabling us to hold onto a moment as if we were right there. Right there in our dad’s old car. Right there on the front porch with the Walk-man. Right there in the school parking lot with our quirky friends. Right there dancing with Grandma. Or and old friend. Or an old flame. Those that have moved on or passed away. In this moment they are alive.

And this is why I play Steely Dan on Sunday morning. So I won’t forget.

El Camino

 

 

 

4 Comments

Filed under Observations, Yep I'm Becoming My Mother

4 responses to “As it Exists in our Minds

  1. SDC

    Aw, I love this! For so many reasons 😊 I saw them in detroit what Im thinking now is about ten years ago. A great show as to be expected and a sound like no other. I loved the memory walk through.

  2. Carol Bonarigo

    This is so true. Music is my Saturday morning (and any other morning) wake up call. I wouldn’t want to live in a world without music.

  3. I can totally, completely relate to this. There are some songs, even happy songs, that I can’t bear to hear because they remind me of painful memories. and other songs that remind me of better, simpler times. but as you say, we never really go back. the memory resurfaces, but each time it is slightly different, the present coloring our recollections of the past. Thank you so much for posting this.

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